Chapter 7

"Then tell me! Why weren't you at his funeral? He loved you, and you ran away. You were gone for months, and then you show up in his hoodie and want me not to look. Not to notice."

Wright's hand is on me in an instant, before I can finish speaking. Strong fingers squeeze my shoulder until it hurts, but I'm ready to bear pain far worse than that, if only I can learn the answer.

"Tell me," I ask more quietly. "Please."

Carter's eyes close again, and his tense nostrils pull in air greedily.

"Move away, Holt," he whispers, but he might as well have shouted; there's no difference. It is still like a slap. "Or I'll shove you away, I swear."

"I can't. You're holding me."

"Carter!"

"What?" I don't understand.

"Say my name. I want you to know who's in front of you."

"Listen, I never forgot…"

Wright's eyes fly open, even darker than before. He shakes me, lifting me easily off the floor, and drives me back against the wall. He looms over me, uncontrollable with the rage churning inside him, and his hands make me frightened and hurt.

"For fuck's sake, Holt! Just say it. Otherwise I'll decide you're expecting something from me, and I'll give it to you. Come on."

I can't answer; my throat feels locked in ice. I can only look at him, but through the bitter blur even that is unbearable, and now it's my turn to close my eyes, to escape his hatred. Let it be.

"Say it!" he demands, and when I don't answer, he pins me to the wall with his chest. He lowers his head and suddenly presses his mouth furiously to my parted lips. Jerking up my skirt, he clamps a hand around my buttock and drives his hard hips into mine while I freeze in horror under his assault.

This kiss is nothing like the kiss Alex and I shared. It is not tenderness at all; it is punishment, and I try to pull away. At last I come back to life and struggle under Wright like a bird in a snare; I try to break free, but he holds me tightly. He crushes his mouth against mine until it hurts. And it probably hurts him too.

And I can't breathe.

"You're insane!"

"Say it!"

"C-Carter… Carter! Carter!" I shout, then sob, unable to hold back the tears spilling out. "You're not Alex!" I cover my face with my hands. "Not him…"

Wright finally lets me go and stumbles back himself, as if plague-stricken. Looking around, he shoves back the hair that has fallen in dark strands over his forehead and lets out a crude curse completely unacceptable within school walls. He rushes between the rows of desks for his bag and snatches it off the desk with a jerk.

At that moment the classroom door opens, and I see my stepbrother.

In his lacrosse uniform, Nicholas fills the doorway and calls to his friend:

"Wright, dude, where the hell did you disappear to? Hurley is tearing the locker room apart! We're supposed to introduce the updated team roster to the school today, and you vanished. Nice timing. Found a moment to make out with a girl in here…"

Nicholas suddenly sees me and falls silent, his face changing. First the smirk disappears from his lips, and then he draws his brows together in confusion, glancing at his friend in surprise:

"Hey, Wright? What the hell is going on here?"

But Carter is already striding past him into the hall, shoving him with his shoulder in the doorway.

"Back off, Holt. If you want to talk, we'll talk outside."