Chapter 9

In front walks a large man of about forty: Coach Hurley. He leads his team out confidently, and they line up opposite the bleachers, tall, solid guys. Everyone around me shouts a greeting to them… and I can't. Because suddenly everything repeats for me, and I see only one boy on this team.

What is wrong with me?

A hard mouth, stubborn, sharp cheekbones, and a cold blue gaze. Carter Wright looks paler than usual and does not seem at all inclined to smile for his fans, unlike his friends.

I don't want to look at him. I don't.

I tell myself he is unpredictable, furious, and that I definitely did not deserve his hatred. That he behaved monstrously toward me. I force myself to turn away. After all, the whole team roster is on the field today, two dozen boys, among them my classmates…

And still my gaze returns to Wright.

He looks straight ahead, listening to what Hurley is saying to him, and suddenly, as if sensing my gaze, lifts his eyes. He finds me without mistake in the top row of the bleachers and, biting his lip, presses his mouth tighter.

"Oh, no! Lena, just look at that! Alicia Parks is such a bitch!" Victoria suddenly jumps up angrily beside me, grabbing my arm. "I can't stand her! Why is she hanging all over Nick? Everyone is looking! Or does she think that because she's captain of the cheer squad, she can do whatever she wants? I hate her! Fat cow! God, what did Nicholas even find in her?"

Victoria's feelings are boiling, while mine do the opposite and freeze. Under Wright's heavy stare, it's as if I'm in the classroom with him again, pinned to the wall. There are more than ten yards and a packed bleacher between us now, but it still seems to me that he is close. And that if I don't close my eyes, I will feel the full force of his anger. Again.

I force myself to wake up.

"Carter… Carter! Carter!" Oh, no, I won't confuse him. And yes, I know who is in front of me. It's almost a shame how well I know.

I don't notice myself lifting my hand and wiping my lips with the back of it, leaving on my skin a faint trace of blood from our wild, painful kiss. I don't care that Wright sees it. Let him. I don't want to look at him or remember him. I don't.

"Bleached-blond snake! Lena, she has decided to claim him for herself! They've only been dating for two weeks, and she's already sticking her hand under his shirt in front of everyone! Oh, God, they're definitely sleeping together!"

"Who?" I turn my head and look at Vic's angry, sad face.

"Nick and Alicia, of course!" my friend says, upset. "Lena, what should I do to make him notice me, huh? Listen, maybe you could talk to him? He's your brother, he should listen to you! Tell him everything about that bitch! You'll see, he'll definitely dump her!"

I spot my stepbrother and the blond girl he is holding. Their embrace is perfectly innocent: Alicia's hand lies on Nicholas's strong neck, and his is on her waist. The girl is smiling happily, and although I don't like her at all, Vicky is clearly exaggerating, and I'm about to tell her so.

I'm already squeezing my friend's hand when I suddenly notice Nick's sharp gaze directed at Wright.

He is looking at his friend, gray eyes narrowed, and there is no smile left on his face. And though Carter has already turned away and is saying something to the coach, my sixth sense tells me Nicholas understood who he was looking at, which means trouble should be expected. And definitely not for Wright.

"Lena, so will you tell Nick about Alicia?" Victoria pleads. "Please, please! Oh God, you are so lucky to have a brother! You can just go into his room and talk to him. Or sit down during a thunderstorm and play Scrabble or Monster Hunter together! But Carter doesn't listen to me at all! He thinks he's the smartest and decides everything himself!"

Nothing like that. Not the part about family games. But I'm not going to tell her that.

"Vic, but is Nicholas really the issue?"

"Of course!" The girl nods confidently, her black ponytail slipping proudly from her thin shoulder. "Who else would be?" she asks in genuine surprise.

"Well, all right, look," I gather my patience. "Before Alicia there was Mandy, before Mandy there was Caroline, and before Caroline there was sweet Grace," I remind her. "Remember? And you called all of them bitches and threatened to kill them. All of them, Vicky."

Victoria is upset. After thinking, she sighs heavily, wraps an arm around my waist, and lays her head on my shoulder. She asks sadly:

"I remember. Do you think I'm a loser?"

Absolutely not.

"No, I don't think that at all. I think you simply fell in love with the wrong guy."

The girl pulls away and takes offense.

"See, Lena! Even you, my friend, don't want to help me!"

"I don't," I admit honestly, and add:

"But only because I know Nicholas won't stop with Alicia, Vic. There will be another girl after her. And even if he chooses you, your relationship could break your heart, and you don't deserve that."

"He's already breaking it, hugging that idiot! I hate her! I hate both of them!" But Victoria's anger does not last long, and she immediately sighs dreamily: "But what if he loves me, Lena? What if I'm his destiny?"

I fall silent, not knowing what to answer. I truly don't know whether my stepbrother is capable of loving anyone. Until now, he has treated girls rather lightly, if not outright dismissively. I can't remember a single one he looked at as if she were his whole world.

And the girl, not getting an answer, turns away.

"I'll probably never know," she says sadly, "because Nick doesn't even want to notice me. And it's all because of Carter! My brother won't let him date me. He said so himself!"

Victoria's little fists clench on her knees in frustration, and she exhales sharply:

"It would have been better if Alex had survived that accident! Everything was always easier with him! He understood me! And Carter, he's like a wall! He doesn't care about anyone! He only does whatever he wants!"

She does not literally say the next thing, "It would have been better if the other brother had died that day," but that is exactly what I hear in her words, and no matter how much I miss Alex, it horrifies me.

Victoria realizes she has blurted out the wrong thing and turns pale herself. She tries to explain:

"It's just… Alex was always sweet, you know? He heard me. He was there if I wanted to tell him something, and he was never rude to me. But Carter… Do you remember Sharon Reynolds's party last year? The one you and Pilar didn't come to?"

"Yes, I remember. You got sick afterward."

"Nothing like that! Carter caused all of it! He saw Sharon and me in her backyard, and he fed me cigarettes. Yes, we were smoking. So what? Big deal! As if everyone around here is a perfect little angel! He chased Sharon off and made me eat several of them, then wash them down with a can of beer. I felt so sick! Of course, he got what he wanted. Now I can't even look at cigarettes, but it was cruel!"

It certainly was. But I can't help pointing out:

"I think he worries about you, Vic. Sometimes you act recklessly, you know that yourself. Remember the story with the rock festival you ran away to with a stranger? Alex didn't like that either."