Chapter 3

The unfamiliar apartment smelled of wood, soft leather, and something elusively masculine that seemed to spread through the nighttime quiet.

Kaylen unlocked the door, stepped inside, and flicked the switch. Soft, muted light from a wall sconce flooded the small entryway that opened into the main room.

“Come in, Bri. And don’t be shy. There’s no one here but us.”

I carefully stepped over the threshold, feeling like a burglar who’d broken into a museum at night. After wiping the wet soles of my sneakers on the mat, I looked around helplessly and ran a hand through my hair. That morning I’d carefully straightened it so the ends brushed my waist, but after the bus ride, the tear marathon, and the damp night air, my chestnut hair had turned back into curls and was sticking out in every direction. And in my head, one single thought kept scrolling like a news ticker: Briar Adams, you are actually in a strange guy’s apartment. No suitcase, smeared mascara, and a firm intention to lose your virginity. You are a genius of insane strategy.

The apartment was unexpectedly clean: a neat shoe rack with sneakers, a navy sofa with beige pillows, a desk, a laptop, and tidy stacks of textbooks on the shelves. No socks scattered by the door and no empty cans like in Travis’s entryway.

Kaylen shut the door, took off his shoes, and hung his windbreaker on the rack. Then he turned to me and held out his hand.

“Bri?”

I took off my shoes too, then peeled off my thick knit cardigan and passed it into his hand.

“I’m not shy. I’ve just never been to a guy’s place at night before. It’s… cozy here.”

“Usually. But thanks.”

Left in just a sleeveless top and a long skirt, I shivered involuntarily at the chill in the apartment and rubbed my bare shoulders.

“Cold? Want something to drink?” Kaylen asked, stepping closer. “Coke? Or maybe tea?”

Our awkward gazes caught on each other, as if we were seeing each other in a new light, and forced us both silent.

I hadn’t imagined it at the diner. In the light of his entryway, my new acquaintance’s eyes were dark blue and attentive. Without the sticky interest I was used to at college parties. And his lips were so… masculine, maybe.

“No, I’ve had more than enough Louie’s coffee. Can I go straight to the shower, Kai? I spent half the day on a bus, then in the diner. I don’t want to smell like betrayal and French fries when… well, you know,” I joked awkwardly and gave a little snort, not knowing what else to say.

“I understand, Bri. Of course.”

I think I managed to embarrass Kaylen, because he quickly turned away and went to the closet. Opening it, he pulled out a few things and handed them to me.

“Here. Towel and T-shirt. They’re clean. The bathroom is easy to figure out, everything’s pretty standard. There’s a new toothbrush in the cabinet over the sink.”

“Thanks. I’ll try to be quick!”

The bathroom was as clean and simple, as unfussy, as the rest of the apartment. You could tell a guy lived here. I noticed Kaylen’s personal things: a razor, a toothbrush, a comb, a couple of colognes, and an excellent shower gel. But I didn’t find any trace of his ex-girlfriend’s presence.

I locked the door, turned around, and exhaled loudly when I met my reflection in the mirror. Nightmare. A shaggy panda with smeared mascara and a red nose stared back at me. Objectively speaking: less object of desire, more scarecrow. Kai was basically a saint for agreeing to sleep with this “beauty.”

I burst into hysterical laughter and immediately slapped a hand over my mouth.

Okay, Bri. No panic. You suggested this.

I washed my face, stripped, and climbed into the shower. Then I set about scrubbing the traces of personal drama off myself. Hot water and foam briskly carried road exhaustion down the drain, Kaylen’s shower gel smelled amazing, and I tried to ignore my own pulse, which was pounding at my temples like crazy.

When I got out of the stall, I dried my hair thoroughly with the towel, but the chestnut strands stayed damp and fell over my back and shoulders in dark half-circles. I didn’t dare go hunting for a hair dryer at almost two in the morning. I just shook them out, pulled on my underwear and Kai’s T-shirt. On me, it looked like a mini dress. I tugged it lower over my hips, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Stepping barefoot into the room, I froze uncertainly on the threshold.

Kaylen was standing by the sofa, but when he heard my footsteps, he turned around. His gaze dropped to my bare legs as if weighted down. But he immediately forced himself to look tactfully away, fixing his eyes somewhere on the wall behind my shoulder.

I knew I shouldn’t be embarrassed about my own legs, especially five minutes before having sex with this guy, but it wasn’t about whether they were slim or not. The whole situation was so far outside normal that the awkwardness between us had made us both stiff.

“I’m… done,” I said, feeling my cheeks burn.

Kaylen nodded toward the sofa.

“Bri, I put a pillow and blanket on the sofa. You can still change your mind, lie down here, and just sleep. In the morning we’ll pretend there was never any agreement between us. We just had coffee. Think about it while I’m in the shower. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially me. I’ll accept whatever you decide.”

“Okay.”

Kai disappeared into the bathroom, and I stayed standing in the middle of a stranger’s room, an unexpected guest who had disturbed its peace. The sofa looked cozy and safe, the night outside the window dark. Somewhere in that night, Travis was probably having fun. Somewhere in it, Kaylen’s ex was sleeping with her new boyfriend. And if there was one thing I wanted in that moment, it was to shut the door on this night for good. I hate introspection.

I pulled the pillow off the sofa, went to Kaylen’s roomy bed, and threw back the comforter. Before I could change my mind, I climbed under it, shifted toward the wall, and pulled the blanket up to my chin.

About ten minutes later, the sound of water stopped. The door opened, and Kaylen came into the room in nothing but sweatpants, his hair damp. At that moment I was staring at the ceiling, but I swear, with a sixth sense, I felt him glance first at the sofa, then at the bed, and swallow hard.

Yep. Bri Adams doesn’t look for easy paths, and she doesn’t back down from difficulty.

“Kai, if you’ve changed your mind, I’ll understand!” I squeaked anyway from my place.

Kai silently turned off the light and came to the bed. In the dark, fabric rustled softly. He took off his sweatpants and lay down beside me. I felt the mattress dip under the weight of his body. He lay on his side, leaving space between us, but it still felt strange. As if someone had filled that space with electricity.

I propped myself up, quickly pulled off the T-shirt, and lay back down, staring at the ceiling where faint strips of light from the streetlamp were reflected. I called to him in a whisper through the dark.

“Kai?”

“Bri?” he answered, just as quietly and a little hoarsely.

“Can I leave my bra on?” I forced out, feeling my confidence crack. “I’m a little embarrassed.”

“Of course. No problem.”

We lay there in silence for another three minutes.

“Your bed is comfortable.”

“Yeah. I like it too.”