Chapter 3, Part 1

Energy Drink, Sister, and an Infinitely Firm "No!"

Dennis

The same evening, and even the same part of town...

Every time I run into Catkin, everything goes wrong. She isn't just a blonde with a ponytail. She's some black-hearted creature with a "minus one hundred to luck" vibe and the curse-removal setting switched off.

Not that it stops her from looking as if she stepped off a poster advertising vitamins for perfect skin. Even when she pulls a face like a lemon, like today in the gym, she still looks pretty damn good.

Catkin is a walking headache. Not a physical one, but the kind where you forget why you walked into someone else's room... and why you're still thinking about a person you can't stand. Since kindergarten, roughly. Since the very day I cut the hair off her new doll, and she drowned my toys in the toilet.

To this day, I still don't know what got into me back then. Since then, we've had one stable relationship: I irritate her, and she irritates me. Sometimes we do it silently, sometimes in a two-mic stand-up format.

Catkin is smart. Catkin is sharp-tongued. And unfortunately, Catkin always answers back. Sometimes even to things you haven't had time to say yet.

Stop. What was I thinking about?..

I pushed thoughts of the blonde aside and stared at my laptop again. The cursor was blinking above the last paragraph of my term paper...

"Motivational Strategies in Managing Conflict-Prone Teams."

An interesting topic, especially if you develop it into a serious project. I chose it myself and was even in class when it was assigned. First, I intend to succeed in life. Second, despite my reputation as a man who lives somewhere between flirtation and the pull-up bar, I actually study. In some classes, I even do it with interest. Not many people know that: me, my professors, and the old park cleaner who once glanced into my management textbook and crossed herself in confusion.

I took a sip of an energy drink that promised to "charge me for twelve hours" and grimaced. In reality, the drink was a rare kind of disgusting. A few drops landed on my old T-shirt, the one with a tomato stain courtesy of one nasty little cat.

Setting the can aside, I wiped the drops with my palm and... Damn it! The microwave beeped from the kitchen. The only sausage in the house had finished heating up. There was nothing else for dinner.

I reached out to save the document and was just about to head to the kitchen when quick footsteps sounded in the hallway. Then the microwave door slammed.

Oh no...

"Allie, don't you dare!" I shot up at once. "It's mine! You're on a diet!.."

I burst out of the bedroom and rushed to the kitchen... but too late. My older sister was already standing there in reindeer pajamas, happily stuffing the sausage into her mouth. My sausage, by the way!

"S'gone. I have... no... willpower."

"That was the last one, and you didn't even share!" I stared accusingly at the relative I wanted absolutely nothing to do with right now.

My sister widened her blue eyes and pressed a guilty hand to her chest. Then she bit off another piece of sausage.

"You'll get fat and won't fit behind the director's console," I said darkly. "The only thing they'll trust you to film is the story of your obesity!"

"But I'll be full!" Allie licked the fork and tossed the empty wrapper into the trash. "And don't look at me like the cat from Shrek, Denny. I'm not ashamed! I honestly tried to resist, I swear! But the sausage chose the light side. Look how mean you are! Even the sausage felt sorry for me because you've been ignoring your sister all evening!"

"I'm a man, I need calories! And I also need to write the outline for my term paper, preferably before the weekend!"

"And I'm a woman whose career is hanging by a thread! I need support and attention. Our parents are off sailing, and you didn't even want to listen to me! So now I'm wondering: should I throw a tantrum right now, or first eat the cupcake I bought for my beloved brother and only then burst into tears?"

Allie pursed her lips in offense and folded her arms over her chest with great dignity, waiting for my repentance and pleas to share the cupcake.

I sighed. More from hopelessness than from the prospect of a hungry night.

My sister was already twenty-six and had exactly zero useful adult-life instincts. If there was a guy, he had to be some idiot who drove her to tears. If there was porridge, it had to burn. If there was work, it had to be the kind where you slave from morning till midnight, only for someone else to get the credit. Like the script for a chocolate commercial she came up with after torturing me with questions and a home shoot. It was even approved, but in the end they forgot to credit her and handed the filming to another director.

And all because someone keeps hoping for the sausage of happiness and a brother who will sell his soul for a chocolate cupcake. But not today!

"Alice, you should have bought meat," I answered tiredly. "Seriously. Today was your turn to go to the store and make dinner. We agreed. We don't have house elves or kitchen poltergeists to do everything for us. In case you haven't noticed, lately I'm the food delivery guy, dishwasher, and cook around here. I was really hoping that at least today someone besides me would pick up a frying pan while I wrote this damn outline. Just once!"

I took the last cookie from the table, shoved it into my mouth, and headed back to my room. I didn't bother closing the door. Pointless. If my sister wanted to come in, she'd find a way. Even if she had to scream "Fire!" or act out "cardiac arrest and Dracula's ominous scraping at the door", she would do it. No wonder the theater studio had trusted her with the roles of Juliet and a vicious vampire woman. You needed talent to die and drink blood that naturally. I don't understand why she went to study directing. With her femme-fatale brunette looks and severe bob, she could have become a blockbuster star...

Instead, my sister wrote scripts for series and television projects, worked as an assistant director, and dreamed of creating her own show. Preferably with killer ratings and a multimillion audience.

As I expected, Alice soon came in on her own, carrying a cup of hot coffee and a cupcake. Setting the coffee on the desk, she perched on the edge and slid the cupcake toward me.

"Stop sulking, Denny. This is for you. You remember how I used to bring chocolates from my dates for my little devil. Could I really have eaten it?"

"I'm not sulking. Thanks. I'm trying to wrap my head around my term-paper topic."

"Well, sorry!" My sister spread her hands. "I had an insane day, I forgot about the store! We had the final casting for a new reality show, and I was supposed to control the timing. Then the producer suddenly wanted 'emotion and sun' in a room without windows. So I had to climb around the rigging like a monkey and set the lights! Then I lost the flash drive with the final presentation, found it in the coffee machine, and at that exact moment the printer burned the poster mockup! And all of this happened when HE appeared in the studio..."

I gave my sister a quick look. My sister and chaos? Not surprising.

"Who is he?"