Chapter 1

Short Straight. Get You Back.

"I love you."

"Ruslan, you're drunk."

"So what? That doesn't change anything, Snow. I love you."

"I have a name, not that stupid nickname. And you have one minute to get out of my room. Please, this isn't my party. I want to be alone. I need to study."

"You're so by-the-book you're basically a damn study guide! You just need to live!"

"And you're still a spoiled, selfish brat who's used to getting whatever he wants! I don't even know why I'm talking to you."

"Your whole life is nothing but goddamn rules! Aren't you sick of it?"

"No. My rules are my business! At least I understand what I'm saying, and who I'm saying it to!"

"You think I'm lying?"

"I think you're playing. Amusing yourself. You like treating people like toys. Backing them into a corner and watching to see what happens next. As you can see, I know you pretty well too."

"Not you. You're not a toy to me."

"Ruslan, stop! Me too. An hour ago, in the next room, you were sitting on the couch making out with some girl. And you were definitely enjoying what you were doing. So why are you here? I didn't invite you."

"So you noticed? So what? She meant nothing to me. I wanted to piss you off."

"Piss me off?.. Listen, Marjanov, turns out you're even more messed up than I thought. I don't have time to play your childish games, and I'm sick of hearing that stupid 'So what?' excuse. I don't have time to be pissed off, got it?! And I don't have time for you either!"

"Snow, why did your boyfriend run off? There are five hormonal idiots on the other side of that door, and he tucked his tail between his legs and bailed, leaving you alone. Got scared?"

"First of all, one of those five idiots, as you correctly pointed out, is my brother. Second, you threw a party in our house, so I can't leave. And third, my boyfriend understands perfectly, unlike you and Romka, that I need to study and that it's already late."

"Don't kid yourself! He flat-out ditched you!"

I've gotten up from my desk and now I'm standing in the middle of my small room, rubbing my bare arm near the elbow. I think I'm angry, because I'm thoroughly tired of arguing with this arrogant guy. The guy who was an awkward teenager just yesterday, but in the last two years has shot up and broadened across the shoulders. And suddenly he's almost a full head taller than I am.

It used to be easier to ignore his spoiled attention, and my own bedroom didn't feel this cramped. So why is it so hard to talk to him today?

"Even if that's true. What does it have to do with you?"

"You know."

"God, you're stubborn."

"I am what I am! Dump him, Snow, and we'll be together!"

I don't know whether to cry or laugh as I look into the blue-black eyes, dark as blueberries, of my brother's best friend. Unexpectedly angry and uncompromising eyes. They belong to a smart guy, there is no arguing with that, but one who is completely unaccustomed to being told no.

"Ruslan..." I breathe out, trying to calm down and answer normally, but music is pounding behind the door, so I have to raise my voice anyway. "Please. I'm not joking. I have a week of assessments ahead of me, then university exams. I need to study for them if I want to finish the year well. And I do. I have to..."

"That whole 'I have to' thing of yours is deadly boring, Snow! So is your boyfriend!"

Impossible! Hardly anyone ever manages to knock me off balance, but Ruslan does it constantly!

It's amazing how the nasty boy who wouldn't leave me alone at school turned into a boy this feverishly in love. Ha. Ha. Ha. Of course I'm angry all over again!

"Yes, boring," I answer, furious. "Just like me! Because I don't have a judge for a mother with the right connections, or a director for a father I can use whenever I want. And I'm not some spoiled only son! I don't have parents at all! And yes, I have to think about how I'm going to live tomorrow! Imagine that: I understand perfectly well that Romka's parents can't take care of me forever. And I'm trying for them too! And no, I'm not ashamed of being that boring, understand, Marjanov? Not one bit!"

"I never said you were boring."

"That's exactly what you just said! There must be girls in your crowd who are more interesting and more attractive than me. So what are you doing in my room?"

"They aren't you. And they never will be."

"They're better! So go back to them and your kissing!" I can be stubborn too. "I need to study."

I fix my hair and turn away to go back to my small desk. My notes and printed test sheets are spread out across it. I still have several hours of studying ahead of me, but Ruslan suddenly stops me by stepping after me and catching my bare forearm in his strong hand.

I've long since made peace with my younger brother's friends and parties, and I'm prepared for a lot. I'm prepared to wait out those parties with headphones on, shut inside my room. Prepared to ignore couples making out in corners and the interested looks from Romka's friends. But not for Ruslan's touch to suddenly scorch my skin, or for me to flinch and turn around.

"Alice..."

"What are you doing?.."

One second, and we're both pressed against the door that he himself was blocking a moment ago. When did he even manage to become this strong and... bold?

Not that he's ever been short on that last quality.

"Kiss me, Snow."

"A-are you out of your mind?" My own fingers dig into his solid shoulders as I suddenly feel Ruslan's hot breath on my lips. "Let me go."

He smells like alcohol and cigarettes. Not strongly, but enough for him to feel ready to go further. Sliding his hand onto my back, he bends to my ear:

"I won't let go until you answer. I don't care!"

"What do you want to know?"

"Ask me what I'd be doing right now if you were my girlfriend."

He moves in tighter and demands it, touching his hips to mine:

"Ask me, Snow!"

"What... What would you be doing?"

The heat from Ruslan's chest burns me, and his lips slide over my cheek so gently, so tenderly, that I literally lose my bearings, unable to understand what is happening.

"We'd lock this damn door, and you'd be sitting naked on my thighs right now. And my tongue would be inside you as deep as my..."

Oh God. I can barely breathe.

"Shut up!" His words sober me instantly, and I shove him away. "I don't want to hear this!"

"But it's true, Alice!" He moves in again and looks at me stubbornly. His dark eyes glitter either from the alcohol or from how close we are. "And you know it!"

Ruslan's palm settles against my cheek, and his lips come closer. I manage, with difficulty, to knock his hand away as I slide sideways along the door.

"You're crazy, stop," I plead. "You're younger than me!"

"So what?" (Of course. How could he possibly do without his favorite excuse of a question?) "By only a year. Even less if you count the days."

"You're practically still in high school!"

"Not for a week now."

"You..."

But Ruslan gathers me into his arms, and I can't break free anymore.

"Snow, be with me. I waited a long time for that damn school to be over so you could take me seriously. Your boyfriend is as predictable as a dumb bulletin board! He's an idiot who dreams of fucking someone else because he's afraid to touch you."

"That's not true!"

"It is! Otherwise he'd be here right now!"