Chapter 6

The irritation stirred in my chest, flaring from smoldering coals into a hot little fire. It ran through the taut veins in my arms, tightening my fingers into fists. Now my hatred for the girl had another name. I couldn’t say exactly what it was, and that “not knowing” pissed me off no less than the strangers’ interest in my stepsister. They were beside her again.

“Listen, sweetheart, if you don’t want to tell us your name, fine. What are you scared of? We’re not freaks or anything. We’re normal guys—we’re just concerned when we see a girl traveling out of town alone. Especially one as pretty as you, looking like the Snow Maiden. Look, Snow Maiden, it’s getting dark outside. Want us to walk you home? There are gray wolves prowling the woods. It’s dangerous.”

“Thanks, but no,” she said, giving a cautious flutter of her long lashes beneath the hat before turning her gaze back to the dusk-blurred suburban landscape beyond the window.

“Well, look at that! She can talk after all! Lyokha, check out my luck!”

“You should introduce her to your mom, Lucky.”

“What? I will! She can wait for me while I’m in the army. Snow Maiden, come on, come with us, huh? It’s not far. We’ll take a walk, go to a café…”

“We’ll treat you to ice cream…”

“Ice cream works, too. Then I’ll invite you over…”

“Yeah. To meet your mom!”

The conversation was becoming insistent and empty. I’d run my mouth like that plenty of times myself, and the girl turned around again and shot me a quick look. She glanced up at the guys, then lowered her eyes. She flinched when one of them sat down beside her.

They noticed her glance, and one of them immediately called out to me:

“Is he your boyfriend, sweetheart?… What, did you two have a fight?”

I’d already taken my hands off the handrail and was standing with one shoulder against it, looking at the strangers through my ragged bangs. Unexpectedly even to myself, I was waiting for my stepsister’s answer right along with them. I didn’t know what I wanted more: for her to turn around and admit we knew each other, or for her to listen to what I’d told her—never come near me.

She didn’t come over. And she didn’t answer. She just shook her head and stubbornly turned back to the window, still naively hoping they’d leave her alone. Stupid little Elf.

“No, he’s not your boyfriend, Snow Maiden,” one of the jokers replied evenly, losing interest in me. “You’re way too good for that bad boy. He’ll find plenty of girls he likes without you. You’d better listen to your mom and not hang around guys like that. He’ll teach you bad things, lie to you, and then you’ll be crying. Come with us instead—we’re reliable. We won’t hurt you.”

The guy lifted a hand and stroked the girl’s delicate cheek. With his other arm, he drew her against him, not noticing how she immediately tensed and shrank away from his touch…

“You’re beautiful…”

And that was all he managed to say.

We ended up fighting. Right there on the bus. Whether I was a bad boy or not was none of their fucking business! Nor was it their business who Elf hung out with, who she trusted, or who she talked to at all! It had all been too much for one day: the conversation with Mom, the trip to school with my stepsister, Lenka’s attention. First Voropaev with his concern, and now these jokers judging my looks. Who the hell cared about my hatred?! About what only I had a right to?! I felt the anger shooting through my arms, giving me strength. Adding desperate fury to the irritation boiling inside me.

I—and only I—wanted to decide who was allowed to look at her. Who could talk to her, and who could touch her. She’d taken part of my fucking life away from me, and yes, I had every right to it!

She was crying quietly, without a sound. She stood and watched me wipe the blood from my face with the sharp pellets of snow, dropping large beads of tears onto her jacket as she held our bags and her hat against her chest. No longer snow-white and new, but spattered with brown dirt. It had been under the guys’ feet when the girl stupidly rushed to help me and I shoved her away.

“Stop crying, Skeleton! Stop, hear me? It’s over now.”

We were standing at the very edge of Cherekhino, where the conductor had made us get off, and I was trying to stop the bleeding.

“You busted your lip. And your nose.”

“What’s it to you?” It came out harsh, and I tipped my head back. “I’m not the only one who got hurt, if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Stas, I didn’t want this, I swear! Does it hurt badly?”

“Better shut up.”

Something fell to the ground—the bags, and then her hat. I turned around, but I still wasn’t prepared for her to come close and touch my face. To press a handkerchief to my split lips and meet my gaze with those impossibly blue eyes. To run her fingers over my lips so carefully, as if I were made of glass.

My voice had never betrayed me before, and my own hand had never felt so heavy or disobedient. I froze, stunned by her touch, by Elf’s closeness, and by the fact that I nearly suffocated from it.

My heart was pounding like crazy. I couldn’t get enough air… I covered the girl’s hand resting against my cheek with my palm and squeezed it. With my eyes closed, I wrenched her hand away from me and stepped back. I exhaled as forcefully as I could, dragging in a ragged breath and trying to pull as much air as possible into my lungs.

“Never touch me! I believe I asked you to stay the hell away…”

“But I thought…”

“What? What did you think, Skeleton? That I charged at them because of you?! Because you’re my stepsister and I felt sorry for you?!…” I flung away the hand I was still gripping and laughed hoarsely when I saw the light go out of the girl’s eyes. “I feel sorry for Pop and Mom. But you… I hate you. I hate you. Always remember that.”