Chapter 6

Lena

- Lena, it is time, the bus will be here soon! Here is your school lunch! And please, this time do not forget to eat it, sweetheart. You are already practically see-through, and I worry. After music class you will be home later than usual.

- Thanks, Mom! I will try.

- And here is your lunch, Nicholas! There is a roasted turkey sandwich in here, the way you like it. By the way, Mark asked me to tell you to stop by his work after school.

- Fine, I will stop by.

- And he asked me to tell you one more thing, something you will not like. He took the keys to your motorcycle. For real this time.

We are all standing in the kitchen by the breakfast bar, where the lunch bags Mom packed for me and Nick lie in paper sacks, and getting ready to leave. At least, I have already finished my juice and eaten my cookie, but Nick has positioned himself with one hand on the back of my chair so that I cannot get around him, and I have to wait in silence until he leaves first.

Mom does not have time to finish before Nicholas explodes:

- What?! Why?

- Because you have a Chevrolet, young man, and because on Saturday you came home late at night smelling of alcohol. It happened again, Nicky, - she calmly slides his lunch toward him, - even though you promised us you would be responsible. These nighttime outings with who knows whom may end badly for you one day.

Over the past year, Nicholas has grown taller and broader in the shoulders, becoming very much like his father as a young man. A typical Holt: the same fair hair, gray eyes, and arrogance. I know he does not like arguing with his stepmother, but he has no choice. I am still amazed at how Mom, small and fragile as she is, manages to talk to a grown guy while calmly looking up at him.

- Come on, Adelie! - Nick snorts unhappily. - The strict mommy role does not suit you! What do you care about my life? I am already eighteen!

- So?

- So I am not your lapdog, sitting on a short leash! Did you tell Father everything? Always lying in wait around the house!

- I did, - Mom does not even think of denying it. - But you did not finish, Nicky. What else do you have besides your age? A job? An apartment? Maybe a bank account?! What exactly made you so bold all of a sudden?

- What do you have? - he says acidly, and if I did not know my mother, I would have gasped in outrage. But I do know her. That is the point. Wealth has never tempted her. With a thin smile, she lifts one beautiful eyebrow.

- I, my dear, whether you like it or not, have the legal right to use all of that. I spoke to your mother, Nicky, and informed her.

- Shit! I don't care!

- Then ask all your questions of your father, not me. And now, please let Lena through. She may miss the bus!

Nicholas grabs his lunch from the counter and leaves, deliberately making the chair and the front door bang. I look at the clock and hurry to hide the paper bag in my backpack too. In the hall, I put on my cardigan and flats. I kiss Mom before leaving. I drag it out a little longer, hoping Nick will have time to drive away before I get outside.

- Teal, do you want me to ask Nicholas to give you a ride?

- No! - I shake my head firmly. - I would rather go myself, Mom, like before.

And that is true. I do not want Nick to give me a ride. I do not want him near me at all. I do not tell anyone, but I have been avoiding my stepbrother for more than a day, and more than a year. To all the neighbors, it is still a secret that we do not share a father, but it has not been a secret to us for a long time.

I would be happy if Nicholas left me alone and stopped noticing me, as he has promised so many times, but he likes playing with me. What a shame no one knows the real him.

I leave the house and walk down the short path to the road. Victoria comes out of her house across the street and, seeing me, waves as she descends the wide porch. It is an ordinary fall day, and I am already ready to wave back to my classmate when I suddenly notice her brother behind her. Carter.

He is wearing a dark hoodie, a gym bag slung over his shoulder, and his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He comes down the steps after his sister and heads toward the road, and there would seem to be nothing unusual about it if I forgot that it has been a year since he stopped taking the school bus, and that Carter Wright's hair is always perfectly in order.

But not today.

Today his hair is tousled, the wind promising rain tugs at his long bangs, and his gaze is fixed on the ground. Seeing him, I suddenly freeze for a long second, as if Alex is in front of me: alive, only a year older, lost in thought about something. And the vision almost stuns me, it seems so true.

Any moment now he will see me, his eyes will open happily and once again amaze me with their deep blue. And the familiar dimpled smile will appear on his beautiful face.

"Hi, Lena!

- Hi, Alex!

- I am so glad to see you! - He was never embarrassed when he talked about what he felt, and it always left me completely disarmed and drawn to him.

- Me too!"

Wright comes closer, and a timid, insane hope stirs in my soul. Please, let it be Alex! If only everything could come back, even for one moment!

But instead of a warm blue gaze, the cold of hard eyes burns me: prickly and dark.

- Close your mouth, Holt, and stop staring! I did not give you permission!

...and the hope scatters at once, leaving an aching, sharp longing in my chest.

Maybe it will never pass. Just like the disbelief that Alex Wright is gone.

The school bus appears on the road, and we all get on. Carter first, then Vic and me. Once she is by the window, Victoria turns after her brother, who is heading toward the back of the bus, and wrinkles the upturned tip of her nose in annoyance.

- Don't pay attention to him, Lena. He acts that way with all girls. He only tolerates the ones who let him get under their skirts, and even then, not for long!

- He hates me, - I say. - I don't know why.

- Carter does not love anyone, I told you! - Vic snorts lightly. - Sometimes I think he can barely stand me either. Better tell me about my Nicholas! - She freezes happily on an inhale. - Did your mom give him the pie? If Carter found out I spent half the evening in the kitchen for his friend, he would kill me!

Victoria's dark-brown eyes light with interest, and she does not notice how she turns toward me and wraps her hands around my arm.

- Lena, please tell me Nick asked about me! - she begs. - Please!

I do not want to lie to my friend. Even if she and I are not very close, we have been in the same class for many years, and I figured out long ago that she is in love with my stepbrother.

- Don't worry, Mom told him it was from you, but you know Nicholas, Vicky. I would not be surprised if he did not hear her. You see, he is very busy with practice and school right now.

In reality, one of Nick's latest girls was at our house yesterday, and I am sure my neighbor knows about it. But I cannot bring myself to say that Victoria's gesture made my stepbrother laugh, and that he simply mocked her in front of his girlfriend.

I have tried many times before, but it did not work. Victoria is simply not ready to hear it.