Chapter 4

"Then why do you freeze out these 'friends' every time they call you?" Stan took me down with one hand tied behind his back. "And you asked me to cough into the phone like our whole family had the flu and you couldn't go anywhere."

"Because... Because... It's none of your business!"

I suddenly exhaled and gave up.

Turning away, I sat down tiredly at the table, took a slice of pizza, and bit into it. Stan sat down beside me and took a bite too. Dad also decided to have dinner.

Pineapple pizza turned out to be pretty good, by the way.

"Listen, Diana," Dad began tactfully when only Mom's quarter of the pizza was left on the table. "Stan is right. You're not just a pretty girl. You're smart, sensible, and kind. Resourceful, too, and nobody gets bored with you. But you haven't gone out with anyone for more than one date. What if this so-called show is your chance to step outside your usual limits? A chance to remind yourself that you're a girl with character and you don't fold in the face of a challenge? So what if it's a popular TV channel? Viewers believe real people, not ratings. Not the ones who came, as you put it, for publicity. I believe in you too, right along with your mom. It's too early for you to be, hm, knitting hats..."

"Don't get mad, Di," Stan chimed in. "Sure, all of this looks sketchy. But maybe it's not that bad? You're cool, and you definitely won't let anyone push you around, even on camera. You'll manage, you'll see! Especially since these dates aren't real."

"Like you know so much..."

"And if they hurt you or Mom, just stick your middle finger out through the sock. There's already a hole in it. Hang on..." Stan started bustling around. "I'll just get it out of the trash!"

 "I don't want to look for love, do you understand?" I suddenly admitted in despair. "On dates, I feel like a D student taking a physics exam. Worse, actually. I don't know what to say. I can't laugh back at stupid jokes, and I don't know where to put my hands. All I can think about is leaving as soon as possible! It's a disaster, and it looks pathetic. I'll get kicked off the project immediately!"

"That's because you're honest!" Dad put in weightily. "And you can't play with feelings."

"But people don't go on shows to be honest, Dad. They go on shows to win!"

"You haven't even gone anywhere yet, and you've already surrendered." Stan came back with the lucky sock and shoved it into my hand. "What if you get someone normal? Someone with a good sense of humor and good taste in movies?"

Unable to help myself, I snorted ironically:

"I see a love of science fiction runs in the family, Stan. Fine. Give me time. I'm definitely not ready to throw Mom to the sharks."

But before I could wrap my hands around my tea mug and sit in silence... my phone suddenly vibrated.

I picked it up and instantly went cold. The number messaging me on social media was unfamiliar. But the avatar...

Holy furballs! It was Valentine!

Yes, that Valentine. Velvet voice, white teeth, and onyx eyes. Celebrity host with a manipulator's diploma in his pocket and a six-figure follower count.

What a nightmare!

After hesitating, I opened the message anyway.

Hello, Diana! My name is Valentine, and I'm the host of the new TV project Love at First Valentine. I heard about you from your mother, the incredibly charming Astralia. She spoke of her daughter with such warmth that our team decided we wanted to get to know you better.

Our TV project is dedicated to finding the perfect match. We're preparing a pilot season of seven episodes, scheduled to air just before Valentine's Day. You have been selected as one of the participants, and we're delighted to share the news!

The first date will take place later this week in a blind-date format. By random selection from Cupid's Wheel, all participants will be paired off, after which six more dates await them in circumstances set by the project. You'll be competing for the prize and, of course, for the title of "perfect couple," as chosen by the viewers.

Filming is confidential, with no live broadcast, but the episodes will be edited in a reality-show format. The meeting place is not discussed in advance, only the general details: date, time, and assignment. You will be fully informed of the terms when signing the contract.

Don't worry, Diana. Everything will be easy, beautiful, and in accordance with your horoscope. We promise!

If you decide to accept our offer, reply with just one word, "Agreed," and your email address.

P.S. We have an excellent budget, top professionals, and an esthetician backstage. Don't doubt it for a second: with us, you will shine!

See you soon!

Yours, Valentine

I read it and stared at the screen. My fingers were shaking.
Shine? An esthetician? Seven dates on camera?!
A contract?!!
Lord, send me a sign from above. Why do I need this?!

"Di, what does it say? Show me!" Stan cut in impatiently.

"Diana, is everything okay?" Dad craned his neck, not without concern.

Nothing was even close to okay.

I got up from the table, reread the message aloud... and let out a heavy breath.

"Everything is just peachy. Absolutely wonderful!" I said with determined despair, so I wouldn't groan. "All that's left is to hang the lucky sock around my neck and go conquer television."

Somewhere inside me, the little door of common sense slammed shut, and a draft squeaked: help!

***

Diana's Room...

I closed my bedroom door, climbed onto the bed, and opened the group chat with the girls called "Birdies." Once, during gym class, all three of us had flown off a bench, and from then on not a day went by without chirping:

Diana:

Girls, HELP!

I'm in trouble! I urgently need an escape plan from the city!

Also a new dress (better make it seven), a new bag, and a lawyer.

Vicky:

Kitty, what happened? Did you decide to drop your Korean course and now you're afraid to tell the teacher?

Dasha:

Or did you eat after six p.m. and now your conscience is eating you alive? Di, don't scare us like that. We're here for you! You definitely won't get THAT fat!

Diana:

It's much worse, girls.

Mom went on TV. And now I'm in a LOVE SHOW!

And no, you did not read that wrong!

Lend me a sleeping potion and a tower with a dragon. I'll sleep there until better times!

Vicky:

(shocked emoji)

Oh my God! Did Astralia really go all in?! Di, remember your mom's New Year readings said she'd meet a potential son-in-law! Could this be IT?!

(awed emoji)

Details. Now!

Diana:

My perfect Korean is somewhere nearby?! The one who's an idol, an intellectual, and can cook fantastic pad thai all at once?!

(rubs eyes and looks around)

Oops! No, of course not.

Mom took part in a podcast as a guest psychic. They provoked her, and on a live broadcast she promised she could bring any couple together.

Then, in a burst of inspiration, she let slip that she has an adult single daughter (crying emoji). Read: LOSER! Me. In front of the whole country!

And that she's sure I was made for the perfect match!

And they're all toothy crocodiles over at the network! Especially the producer and the host, Valentine.

They have ALREADY messaged me!

And now if I refuse, they'll make Mom a laughingstock.