Chapter 1

At home, the TV is on in the living room, Dad sprawled asleep in front of it. I walk into the room and turn off the plasma. I throw a blanket over Dad, collect several empty beer cans by the couch, and only then head to the shower, deciding I’ll go up to my room afterward. Right now I want to wash the heat of the party off me and cool, at least a little, what is still boiling in my blood and what the night wind failed to cool.

I strip off my clothes and step under the shower. Lathering gel in my hair, I close my eyes and remember Ashley—the surprise and confusion on her face when I walked up to her and took her hand. When I put my hands on her hips and pulled her against me.

She probably didn’t guess how much I liked it, but she answered. Answered with a very feminine, very brave dance, fearlessly accepting the challenge even though everyone was watching us.

I wonder if I’ll ever dare call her the name I gave her in my head the first time we met?.. Thinking about it now, it feels like nothing is impossible.

Ashley Wilson. Not so long ago, I thought you and I would never even speak. And tonight I couldn’t tear myself away from your lips, kissing you in front of everyone.

When I come out of the bathroom and go upstairs, I see Lucas in the hall. He isn’t alone. He has Gabrielle pinned against the wall, and when he sees me, he doesn’t even think about pulling his sagging jeans back over his ass, one hand wrapped around the girl’s bare thigh.

Then again, neither of them is embarrassed by me. There are a couple more people in Lucas’s room, and I can hear low laughter.

I’ve been too deep in my own head; otherwise I would have heard them. Now all I can do is walk past to my room.

“Well, damn… Matt!” Lucas grins, turning his head toward me and breathing hard. “Your timing’s a little off, brother.”

“Hey,” I toss back indifferently, turning away from the pair. “Sorry, then. You could’ve found somewhere else.”

“Couldn’t. Gabi was actually looking for you. Right, baby?” Lucas laughs. “We got to talking and got a little, hmm, carried away.”

They’ve definitely been drinking and messing around with weed, and the girl giggles drunkenly, kissing my brother. Noticing I’m wearing only a towel low on my hips, she leans the back of her head against the wall and lifts one brow eloquently.

“Lucas, you promised tonight would be hot. Doesn’t your baby brother want to join us? Morning’s still a long way off.”

“What’s that, Gabi? You worked up?”

“I’ve wanted to try a threesome for a while, but only if none of you tell.”

An offer like that can hardly embarrass Lucas. Growing up beside my brothers, I’d had to see all kinds of things, and he grins with satisfaction again, turning his clouded gaze on me.

“Hear that, Matthew? What do you say? Isn’t tonight the perfect night to become one more immoral Palmer? Look, you won’t even have to warm her up—I’ve already done the work.”

Walking past them, I open the door to my room and turn on the light. But before I slam it shut behind me, I remember to give my brother the finger.

“Fuck you, Lou… Go to hell without me, you damn perverts!”

Ashley

Highway lane markings flicker past outside the car window, The Rasmus’s “In The Shadows” plays from the stereo, and Amber sits behind the wheel of her Ford and bravely keeps quiet for a whole three minutes before she suddenly can’t take it anymore:

“No, I can’t stay quiet! I’m going to burst, girls! That was better than season two of The Umbrella Academy! Better than the Golden Eagles’ win over the Rhinos yesterday, and even better than my kiss with Brody! Although that skinny Bruce did seriously blow my mind. I’m not going to sleep now unless I learn every detail! Ashley, I’m begging you, tell me—what’s going on with you and Palmer?!”

The three of us are coming back from the party, only this time Phoebe is with us instead of Trisha, who stayed behind with Jake. And both girls turn curious faces toward me.

“Ambi, are you crazy?!” I grab the wheel. “We’ll crash!”

But Amber doesn’t think so, and she snorts with dignity:

“Nope! The road is empty, and I’m ready to hear all the secrets! Come on, Aaash!” she begs mournfully, and I shrug in embarrassment.

“You saw it. Matthew and I danced.”

“Danced?! Is that what we’re calling it now?”

“Okay, fine. We kissed too. But Trisha and Jake still won!”

Amber rolls her eyes and smiles, and I smile too. It feels good to be on the same wavelength as a friend. She has no intention of shutting up, though.

“Jenkins and Finley danced great too, but I wasn’t watching them. What was there to see? Jake lifted Trisha into his arms and it ended with a kiss on the shoulder! At least it wasn’t a hickey on the neck like Kate’s. Serves her right, Renton is such an idiot! Just like his buddy Hugh, no imagination at all! But you two—totally different story. When Palmer got to your leg—oh my God, Ash! I thought everyone was going to break their necks trying to see, and the air was going to boil! It was so interesting to find out where you two would finally stop! Babe, you were so sexy in those black stockings!”

Amber laughs merrily, and I jokingly cover my eyes with my hands.

“Please stop! I’m going to burn up from embarrassment!”

“I can’t. You should’ve seen how Palmer looked at you. I never would have thought he danced that well. Can you imagine how much talk there’ll be at school on Monday?.. What? How? Why?” Ambi widens her eyes. “Is there really something between them and we didn’t know?!”

“So is it true? Is there something between you? He’s dangerous, Ashley!” Phoebe sticks her curious nose in from the back seat, poking her face between us, and Couch immediately points a finger at her.

“See! There it is!”

“I don’t even want to think about it!”

“You’ll have to, Ash. That’s why I’m asking. What’s going on between you two? As your friend, I’m supposed to be the first to know all the secrets!”

I don’t know what’s going on between us, and I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I only know that on the dance floor we were both real, and that time with Matthew flew by like a single second I would agree to repeat a thousand times!

Also, I’m not ready to reveal his secrets to anyone yet.

I turn to the girls and, smiling, mime zipping my mouth shut.

“Oh, fine! Don’t tell us!” Ambi isn’t the least bit offended by my gesture. “We can already see who’s following our car like he’s tied to it!.. Keep your secrets, Wilson, all the way to Christmas if you want! But I’m starting to think somebody got herself a boyfriend tonight!”