Chapter 6

“Ashley, you said you were spending the evening with a boy from your school.”

“I was.”

“That he plays for the Golden Eagles.”

“But that’s true!”

“That you’d never met a better guy and that you trust him completely…”

The last part sounds too intimate for Matthew to hear, but I’m not going to deny it.

“Yes.”

“What is happening to you, Ashley?” Dad reaches his hands toward me, his face changing. Suddenly becoming his old self. “Where are your eyes and your head? Where is my smart girl? I arrested this guy myself at your school because he started a brutal fight, and I took him to the station myself. I talked to him, and let me tell you, he wasn’t sorry. Sons of bitches like that are never sorry. Not for anything!”

Dad turns and turns to stone again, addressing my companion in an icy voice:

“What do you want from my daughter, Matthew Palmer? Why did you get close to her? I pulled every piece of information on your family. Car theft, burglary, drug dealing, and brokering stolen goods. Not all of it has been proven, but there’s enough suspicion for me to understand who I’m dealing with. Where in there is anything that fits ‘best guy’? Maybe you’ve gotten into my Ashley’s head, but I’m still sane enough to keep you at a distance. You come near her, you’ll regret it. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And I never want to see you here again! My weapon is always loaded. Remember that!”

“Dad, are you… out of your mind?” The blood drains from my face completely. Never, not ever, has he threatened anyone in front of me. “I can’t believe this is coming from… you!”

I take a step back and run into Palmer’s chest. I didn’t even notice I’d put myself between them.

“Get inside now, Ashley! Immediately!” Dad orders. “Don’t force me to use force!”

“Go, Ash.”

“But Matthew…”

God, what an awful situation! After such a wonderful day, it’s monstrous! I turn toward Matthew to apologize to him and still manage to see the pain in his light brown eyes before his gaze turns unreadable. As if something made of stone drops over his face, moving him away from me.

“I knew this conversation would happen, Ashley,” Matthew says. “Go home. It’s time.”

“Will you call?”

“Don’t you dare mess with her head and call her, Palmer! Ashley, you’re giving me your phone tonight! Catherine told Patricia and me everything, and we’re both upset. How could you betray our trust? I was the first person who always trusted you!”

This can’t be happening! Everything that’s happening right now is unfair and wrong, and my hurt and shock are so huge that my throat locks up and tears come to my eyes.

I have to leave to stop Matthew’s humiliation in front of my father and end their terrible meeting. And so I won’t burst into tears in front of him. He looks calm and cold on the outside, but I will never believe he has gone deaf.

Dad hurries me again, and choking for breath, I run into the house.

Patricia and Kate are sitting in the hall, and while my stepmother rises to meet me when she sees me, her daughter stays seated. She only turns away so she doesn’t have to meet my eyes.

I know who is to blame for everything, and I go straight to her.

“It was you! What did I do to you? I hate you, do you hear me?! You’re the worst! You’re just as vile and heartless as… as your father! And if you think you’re going to be happy by doing vicious things to other people, you’re wrong!”

Patricia cries out in shock, and I run upstairs, unwilling to see either of them. I feel something collapse between all of us in that very second, completely and irrevocably, but I don’t want to stop it.

Locking myself in my room, I run to the window, push the blinds aside, and see Matthew get into his car and drive away. He tears off and disappears from view in his old Dodge as quickly as happiness slips out of my heart.

Oh no. No, no, no!

I walk over to the bed and sit down on it, feeling as if I’m in a fog. Raising my palms to my temples, I wrap my hands around my head and squeeze, closing my eyes.

This year is just awful. Senior year is awful. And so am I, because I can’t do anything to change it.

Dad and Patricia knock on my bedroom door, but I don’t want to see them or talk to them.

“Ashley, open up!” Dad demands, though more calmly now. “We want to talk to you!”

“No!”

“Ashley, please.” I hear my stepmother’s well-trained voice. “Open the door. This is important! We are your parents, and we’re acting for your own good. I promise, we’ll just sit down and sort everything out calmly. Ashley?”

“Not now. Go away, both of you!”

“Ashley, honey?” Dad says, and his familiar, beloved voice hurts more than anything now. “Open up. I want to say something!”

I go to the door, but I don’t open it. I speak, knowing he’ll hear me.

“You’ve already said everything you wanted to say. But the main thing is that you said I lied to you. Please, Dad, go away and leave me alone.”

“But we’ll talk?”

“Not today.”

“Why, honey?”

I have never said to my father what I’m about to say now:

“Because today I don’t want to see you!”

Later, I call Matthew, but he doesn’t answer. Not after an hour. Not after two.

I fall asleep that way, feeling morally broken and lifeless.